Posts Tagged ‘The Expendables’

The Chad Cinema New Year New Film Round-up

31 December, 2009

 January

Ignoring the fact that, realistically, people should be spending January preventing everyone they know from paying to see Did You Hear About the Morgan’s, the real one to watch here are Pixar’s 3D rejigging of Toy Story 2 and French crime flick A Prophet. Admittedly, the pair won’t sit hand in hand (unless you have a particular urge to dispel the saccharine happiness of Pixar’s sequel with a brutal, unsettling account of modern French criminality) but general opinion of A Prophet is that it is the first film to really contend with La Haine in terms of modern French cinema, and for the other count everyone loves Woody.

Also in cinemas will be Martin Campbell’s Edge of Darkness, starring Mel Gibson in the Casino Royale’s directors latest action thriller as a renegade police man who’s daughter is murdered in what appears to be an attempt on his life. But all is not what it seems for our blue-eyed hero, as he uncovers his daughter’s involvement in a complex government conspiracy. If you like your action films with less though the Wachowski brothers’ Ninja Assassin will also be nunchuk-ing it’s way into a cinema near you, based on the popular comic book series of a masterless ninja.

February

Disney’s first old school 2D fairytale film in donkey’s years, The Princess and the Frog, comes out this month with the hope of harking back to a simpler, less computer-driven time. I’ve got high hopes for the film seeing as it is, after all, how the company made its name and it would be tragic for the classic style of animation to die a death completely. Disney are also patting themselves on the back for the fact that this will be their first film since the company was created to feature a black protagonist – although all that sounds like a piece of news a good 60 years late in coming to me.

Also worth a mention are The Wolfman, because it’s got Benico Del Toro in it, and children’s adventure saga Percy Jackson And The Lightning Thief, because you’ll be sick of seeing it franchised in every way imaginable by March.

March

Tim Burton’s latest foray into the depths of his utterly messed up head arrives in the form of Alice in Wonderland, which will also be the directors first film to utilise 3D.  Inevitably this will be a runaway box office success and with Depp and Bonham-Carter getting their teeth into the big roles there’s no shortage of talent on offer to back up the Director’s superbly dark and manic vision.

Hack and slash actioner Clash of the Titans will also be on the big screens, starring Sam Worthington and Liam Neeson in this Jason and the Argonauts style big budget revamp. Also out this month will be Scorsese sppok-a-thon Shutter Island and Matt Damon Bourne-a-like Green Zone, which should be well worth a look.

ApriloProving that there’s still some cash to be bled out of the comic book movie cash-in, Iron Man 2 ka-pows its way onto screens. Hopefully better than the slightly overlong first film, Robert Downey Jr returns as the cocky Tony Stark, this time taking on a new secretary in Maggie Gylenhaal and a new enemy in Mickey Rourke.

Also look out for Kick Ass, which could be the Shoot Em Up of 2010 and features children who brutally murder people and swear lots.

May

Blockbuster season get’s underway early as Sex and the City 2, Prince of Persia and Robin Hood all square up to rake in on the early summer market. Elsewhere Nightmare on Elm Street looks set to ruin everything that was good about one of cinema’s most pivotal and entertaining horror films, while Rec 2 sneaks into cinemas to in the hope of building on the success of the truly fantastic Spanish horror film that came before it.

June

Will Smith produced high-kicking remake The Karate Kid gets set to upset an awful lot of people by recreating the heartfelt tale of a young boy forced into painting fences for an old man with a badass moustache. The downside here is that it stars Smith’s son, the plus side is that it’s also got Jackie Chan .

July

The biggest hitter for July will undoubtably be the third installment of the New Moon saga, Eclipse, but with the release of Toy Story 3 at the same time this could be one of the closest fought battles for the year’s box office receipts.

August

A good month for action, August sees the release of Christopher Nolan’s enigmatic Inception, starring Leonardo Di Caprio in a film which claims to involve a crime in the depths of a man’s mind. Special effects and head scratching will be mandatory.

Also on screen will be Angelina Jolie led spy thriller Salt and testosterone fuelled super action film The Expendables, starring every action star ever to have run away from something blowing up in slow motion.

September

apparently no films will be released next September, so you should probably go for a walk or communicate with another human or something.

October

Animated film Despicable Me, starring Steve Carrell, is set to break new ground through using pioneering digital technology to create a feature length film using only computer generated characters voiced by popular actors of the day. If you ask me, it will never take off…

November

Harry Potter returns to the big screens for the first part of the final book in J.K Rowling’s hokum pokum series, Deathly Hallows. If that doesn’t float your boat and you fancy something more high brow Jackass will also be available in 3D from 5th November.

December

Christmas blockbuster season returns with a vengeance as Chronicles of Narnia:  The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, comic book adaptation The Green Hornet and the incredible looking Tron: Legacy all arrive in time to get away from your family.

ATTENTION WORLD – There is an Expendables trailer.

15 October, 2009

In the past I may have sounded over-excited about the impending release of The Expendables next year. But now the evidence is here, in three-minutes of pure, ball kicking glory. And it’s awesome.

There is always a place in my heart for mindless, shallow, thrill-seeking action films and from the looks of it The Expendables ticks all the boxes.

Make no mistake, there is more testosterone here than gym full of rhinos. But I think we should all take a gleeful delight in the fact that the majority of this trailer involves watching things get blown up, shot at, or beaten up.

The trailer first emerged last night at the movie blog and shows Stallone et al getting stuck in to a hefty glimpse of the final film. The banter between the cast looks good (Statham’s ‘I’m getting a text’ line and Jet Li’s small man complex stand-out here, as well as his ‘I would have winned’ line) and harks back to the glory days of muscle bound action one-liners that made the original 80s action films so amazing.

There’s a few interesting plot teases as well, why are Jet Li and Dolph Lundgren fighting at the end? Aren’t they both on the same side? Mickey Rourke looks ace as the group’s leader. The Stath and Li look great in the high kicking roles. Also interesting is Danny Trejo, conspicuous here by his absence, who many assumed would be the bad guy head honcho – we can just hope that the world’s baddest Mexican will be getting all the screen time he deserves.

Colour me excited.

Stallone’s new Death Wish

1 October, 2009

Hollywood iron man Sylvester Stallone is all over the place at the moment. If he’s not drawing together the world’s most amazing cast of arse-kicking hard-as-nails I-drink-beer-while-I’m-smashing-things-to-pieces action stars for upcoming super-actioner The Expendables, or working out how to be the meanest looking 63-year-old on the planet in the next Rambo film, he’s deciding whether or not remake 1974 Charles Bronson classic, Death Wish.

The Italian Stallion has been speaking to Empire about how he hopes to put together a remake of the brutal exploitation flick, but at least he seems fairly grounded about the whole idea and is fully aware of just how much he could mess up, and just how much Charles Bronson would come back from the dead just to kick his arse if he did.

“It’s a classic morality tale, where you take a civilised man and take away everything that matters to him so he becomes primitive again,” he said, speaking in the interview.  “The story’s been done many times, and when it’s done well, it’s an emotionally engaging film. The trouble with remakes is that people fall in love with the original. It’s like peanut butter. If you try to change the taste of peanut butter, you’re in trouble.”

The more I hear from the Slyster these days the more I like him. At least he’s fully aware of how carefully he would have to tread about such a loved piece of cinema. Not only does he blatently know what he’s good at and what people want from him (ie smashing people’s heads in and killing generic South Americans with a machine gun the size of a cow) – but he does it exceptionally well. And how could you not love a man who can make peanut butter analogies and bring together Bruce Willis, Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Steve Austin, Sly himself and Arnold Schwarzenegger for at least an hour and a half of gun fights and explosions?

But I digress, here is a chance to see Bronson in all of his Death Wish, no-nonsense ass-kickery. If there’s a better way to get a seat on the subway I don’t know about it.

Pictures, robots, Sly, just kill me now

16 April, 2009

Readers, rejoice! For this post features a feast of magnificent pictorial pleasures for you to soak up.

First up is new concept art for Christian Bale led robot kicking flick, Terminator Salvation. Avid readers (both of them) will be well aware of my deeply unhealthy love for the Terminator series. Yes, yes, we all know that only the first two films were any good, but despite being bloody awful both the third film and the Sarah Connor Chronicles spin-off had some pretty interesting ideas and the latest outing looks promising, although I’m still very dubious of McG’s directing prowess. These new pictures, courtesy of SarahConnorSociety.net, show some pretty awesome looking concept art for the film, which is now due for release on 3rd June.

terminatorsondermotivbig1 

Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins

Also for those who havn’t seen the latest trailer yet, take a look at it here:

In other amazing news, Empire has unveiled a huge, manly handful of pictures from filming of my new favourite film of all time, The Expendables. For more details on how unbelievably awesome this film is likely to be, check out my last post. Needless to say that this is awesome and if you want to see more just click the picture below.

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So what do you think? Excited about any of these? Leave me a comment and let me know what you think. And for those techno-gurus that are way ahead of me, why not follow me on Twitter: AdamChad

I’ll be back… and more excited!

31 March, 2009

Speaking of comebacks… News has reached the technoweb that cinema’s greatest auteur, Sylvester Stallone, has talked the single most incredible action hero of all time  back to the silver screen – Arnold Schwarzenegger!

The Governator has officially signed on the dotted line to take part in Sly’s upcoming testo-frenzy, The Expendables. The film follows a group of nations (led by America, obviously) team up to send an elite squad of their finest soldiers into a generic South American nation to assasinate a corrupt, murderous, evil leader, who has been making people sad, miserable and dead for almost 20 years.

It hasn’t been made clear yet what role Arnie will be playing, and whether it will be a character role or just a cameo (which is probably far more likely, if a little upsetting), but we can be sure that he will join an action fan’s wet-dream of a cast including Sly himself, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Dolph Lungdren, Jet Li and Eric Roberts– as well as some fairly solid rumours of 50 Cent, WWE wrestler Steve ‘Stone Cold’ Austin, token pretty lady Charisma Carpenter and the outstandingly brilliant Danny Trejo (with the smart money on him as the bad guy to beat).

Needless to say that this looks absolutely fantastic. If ever there was a pitch that ticked every action film box in the book, added about 20 more, ticked them,  machine gunnned the list, blew it up, delivered a witty one liner and ran off with a pretty girl, then this is it.

In an ode to the Austrian Oak himself, here is the trailer to the 1985 action classic Commando. If you haven’t seen this film, you are not worth knowing.

Somewhere, somehow, someone’s gonna pay…